Well, I ruined my life. Ok, ok, maybe not the WHOLE life but some of what I remember to be the good parts.
Alright FINE. It’s not really ruined. Maybe it’s just sad. More sad. Well actually I’ve been in a happier mood than ever so that’s not right either.
I quit drinking and eating sugar and grains and dairy few other suspect things (like what else is left you’re thinking, right?) as part of the “Whole30” which is basically thirty days of clean eating with the intention of learning how certain foods impact your body, especially as it relates to systemic inflammation. “Whole30” is much easier to say.
Sugar was the easiest to give up, probably because I’d already spent the better part of a year on an on and off again diet. Losing, gaining, losing, gaining. Sugar is always one of the first things to go.
Grains were pretty easy too, since I often eat gluten free (sometimes I spitefully eat it and then my body punishes me) and things like rice and corn are generally avoided on a diet, anyway. I miss popcorn, but that’s really it.
I have adapted to black coffee. I do not love it like I loved coffee with cream but I have adjusted. I’m still not sold on half and half being the root of all evil. It’s a quality of life question for me, but for now, all dairy is out.
But I sure missed with every cell of my body, having Mexican food and drinks on Fridays. I still have Mexican, even chipotle has a wholesome bowl, but no drinks. There’s something about Friday night, date night, end of the work week drinks that I missed every single Friday of my Whole30 without fail.
So on day 35 I had a drink. Three of them to be exact, over six hours.
It was terrible. Got a terrible headache almost immediately, couldn’t shake it and ended up laying down at 7:30pm and not getting back up.
This is not how I remember drinking to be. I drink a specific kind of vodka because it doesn’t give me headaches! I use water as a mixer, to keep up hydration, with some fruit for flavor, often lemon. This recipe has served me well for the entirety of my adult life.
Until now.
“I’ve never felt this bad before,” I told my SIL and Whole30 partner, “how can that be?”
“Maybe you didn’t notice because you’ve never felt this good before,” she said.
I wasn’t planning on quitting drinking forever. Not even after the Whole30 told me alcohol is a neurotoxin. I love neurotoxins, I said. I can go gluten and sugar free, but bring on the neurotoxins!
Me and neurotoxins have had a lot of fun together, and, right or wrong, neurotoxins have helped me through some hard times. Neurotoxins used to make me want to stay up way too late dancing and singing and laughing. Not drinking me is like well I guess I’ll go to bed (by ten, latest).
Not drinking me also gets up really early. Every single day. Like two hours before I have to work. WHO ARE YOU my husband said.
Not drinking me sends less snarky morning tweets because not drinking me is less snarky in general. I thought alcohol was the “I love you man” instigator but it turns out everything is a lie.
Somehow I’m having less fun but I’m happier? What is happening? Whatever it is, it’s happening against my will.
From “It Starts with Food”, Hartwig and Hartwig, 2012: “Even in moderate amounts, alcohol is acutely neurotoxic. It alters the normal activity of your nervous system, may cause damage to nervous tissue, and can disrupt or even kill neurons, the cells that transmit and process signals in the brain and other parts of the nervous system. …it’s why a few drinks makes you stumble, slur your words, and think you’re a really good dancer. Other neurotoxins include mercury, lead, insecticides, formaldehyde and biotoxins like botulism.”
Ok but for the record I AM a really good dancer. Also cutest in the room. At least that’s what neurotoxins tell me. Maybe that’s why despite reading the above, I still want to drink them.
But now, I’m scared. Neurotoxins have double crossed me. I mean, I’ve had hangovers before, but that was my fault I figured. It’s not the alcohols fault. If I do all the right things- eat, drink lots of water, space drinks out over time, alcohol and I get along fine. Or we did. Now it seems to go straight to toxic.
(🎶I’m never gonna dance again, sober feet have got no rhythm)
I can’t believe I might be a non drinker. I mean, next time I have two days I want to risk feeling terrible for I’ll try it again (I’m not a quitter!) but right now I don’t see why I would possibly ever want to feel like that again.
You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. The end of an era.
I’ll take my neurotoxins on the rocks with a lemon twist and no headaches please.
Make it a double.
NickNackPaddyWhack-ed 