My husband found my Bluesky account today (it was not a secret, he’s just not very online) and therefore learned about the guy that introduced himself to me at the gym last week. Everyone knows but me! he said, as if it were news I had shared with any real life people. I cannot stop … Continue reading Giggle →

Maybe I’ll write, so you have something to read when you check. Maybe I’ll write, say something you want to hear, something to fuel your anger or something to give you peace. Maybe I’ll write, so you’ll have something to talk about. Something scandalous or sweet, something juicy or awful, joyful or sad. Maybe I’ll … Continue reading Maybe I’ll Write →

I finished another round of whole30, this time it was easier and since it didn’t end on a holiday like last time I didn’t go all crazy and eat everything in sight. But, despite my stellar eating habits, my blood pressure at an all time low 100/69 (!) my toe staged a mutiny. Or rather, … Continue reading Mutiny →

I have really good and really bad intuition. I have always chalked it up to never really knowing how to use what I have. Every time I dream about something and then it happens, I am shocked, because I have no idea how to tell the difference between a dream that’s a dream or dream … Continue reading The Day I Died →

Kylie, that was his name, the guy who gave me the Christmas lights. The garbage man, who was always bringing home treasures. He and his girlfriend Sarah lived two doors and one floor down from where Kelly and I lived and we floated between apartments, all of us plus whatever friends were hanging out on … Continue reading For Reta, the Rest →

A tear slides From my eyes And ruins my disguise Pools of blue Blur the view Of how I used to see you

Well, I ruined my life. Ok, ok, maybe not the WHOLE life but some of what I remember to be the good parts. Alright FINE. It’s not really ruined. Maybe it’s just sad. More sad. Well actually I’ve been in a happier mood than ever so that’s not right either. I quit drinking and eating … Continue reading Mercury Margaritas →

I understandWhy people become faithfulFor hope when there is noneFor grace when you’re wrongFor prayer when nothing else can be doneFor love when you’re aloneFor belief that the struggle is part of a divine planI understandBut all I want to do is scream at the sky

Back when I was young, and married to my first husband, in one of the many treatment programs he attended, we saw a family therapist. We were discussing my husbands mother, who was an alcoholic, and how it might impact my husbands new sobriety. Because she was an alcoholic, she did not see how her … Continue reading Bubbles →

We have a wedding to attend this weekend. The ceremony and the reception are both outdoors and it’s BYO everything, and pick your own spot in the grassy field by the river. I haven’t stopped worrying since we RSVP’d. Used to be all I had to worry about was being fat and finding the right … Continue reading Being Me →