The Original “He’s Just Not That Into You”

You guys have heard of that book/movie, “He’s Just Not That Into You”, right? Well, I’m here to tell you that although she never patented it, it was definitely my mom’s idea first.

From the time I had my first “boyfriend” at age thirteen (Christopher from church, his mom might have put him up to it) my mom had given the directive.


Of course I didn’t listen. I called my share of boys. I grew up when things were getting all loose and girls were supposed be fine with asking a boy on a date first and making the first move. I considered my mom’s advice to be old and outdated and everyone knows that teenagers know everything and think their parents are dumb and I was no exception.

And then we learn later, after we’ve made our own mistakes, that our parents were in fact right, and so it is no surprise that my mom’s advice turned out to be solid.

At the end of my first date with J, at thirty-four years old, the subject came up of future correspondence and I repeated the mantra I had (twenty years later) finally come to appreciate and believe in.

“I don’t call boys.”

J was kind of surprised. After all, we had a pretty excellent first date, not to mention a first kiss that still gives me goosebumps to think about.

“My mom taught me that girls do not call boys,” I explained, “but you can call me.”

J laughed, and then said, “Well feel free to call me tomorrow, anyway.”

And I did not call him, but he texted me the next morning and said, “So you’ll kiss a boy on the first date but you won’t call him?”

“That’s right,” I responded.

And so, he called me. (And they all lived happily ever after, The End)

These days, because there’s a lot more than a landline telephone to connect girls and boys, the advice needs to be modified to say, “GIRLS DO NOT CALL, TEXT, SNAP, FACEBOOK MESSAGE, INSTAGRAM, TWEET OR OTHERWISE USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO CONTACT BOYS. EVER.”

I’d list for you all the reasons why-but you can just read that book based on mom’s advice because if he doesn’t want to call,  “He’s Just Not That Into You”.

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