Mom in 20

Alright, new rule. I shall now set out to write for twenty minutes every day. I know, you’re like “How is this different from what you usually do?” but hold on a second and I will tell you. What I usually do is write and write and write and write and then edit and reread and edit and reread and edit and reread and then before you know it 2-3 hours have gone by and J is wondering if I am ever going to come to bed. All this for like three pages. Carving out 2-3 hours is not that easy, and consequently, the time between writing sessions can get kind of long.

As I’ve mentioned, I recently started playing the violin. I practice for a minimum of twenty minutes a day. Sometimes I practice for longer if I have the time but I make myself do twenty minutes because I am so new to it, that when I do not play, I can tell. I have to practice extra just to get back to where I was. I am therefore motivated to get in my twenty minutes per day just to maintain, even if I am not learning something new.

And then I thought, how come I can get in twenty minutes a day of playing but not twenty minutes per day of writing? Why do I think it needs to be this complete story or blog or chapter? Why can’t it just be twenty minutes and, IN FACT, maybe if I do twenty minutes every day, like the violin, I will just get better and better and before you know it maybe it won’t take me three hours to write three pages worth reading.

(18 minutes left- ok now 16 ‘cause I went back to edit, the writer’s biggest pitfall)

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Moms and Stepmoms and Mother -in- laws and Grandma’s out there. Happy Mother’s Day to the Foster Moms and the Respite Care Moms and the Group Home stand in Moms and the Dads who do it all. Happy Mother’s Day to the aunts and uncles and cousins who take in kids that are not their own in order to help them get through to adulthood. Happy Mother’s Day to anyone, really, that mothers a kid. By the time you can consider yourself an expert at mothering, your kids are grown and while you’ve learned from your mistakes- no two kids are ever the same and you’re never really an expert. Motherhood is the long game and every kind of Mother makes a difference. We thank you for your service.

(shit, nine minutes)

I gave my mom a card thanking her for being the mom I needed, and some cakes for one that you can make in the microwave in a coffee mug in 1 minute and 30 seconds. (One of the best inventions ever, Duncan Hines). Mom asked me what I meant by my card. I told her how she doesn’t make me feel guilty or really ever pressure me, she doesn’t have expectations of me that I have to meet, she enjoys me when she sees me and talks to me and she lives in the moment. She told me that Gram told her that your kids are supposed to grow up and not need you anymore, and if they don’t- then you’ve done something wrong. Gram said that once your kids no longer need you, you become an obligation, so Mom said she’s always tried her best not to be an obligation to her kids. Man, I love my mom. She is exactly the mom I needed.

(4 minutes!)

I hope that someday all our kids can say that I was the mom (or the stepmom) that they needed.

“Bunny still needs you,” Mom said, “so it’s different for you than me.”

Which reminds me- I promised to tell you a story about the day Bunny was born and I plan to deliver on that story, but maybe in twenty-minute increments? Cause right now I’m down to two minutes and I’ll die if I don’t get to at least give it a once over….

I hope you had a nice Mother’s Day, and were lucky enough in life to get just the mother you needed, whether it was your mom or not.

(one minute- ack!)

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