Shoe Police

I made it through day one at the office with illegal footwear! Only two more to go!

I know people complain about pants all the time, but pants got nothin’ on shoes when it comes to “things I don’t want to wear”.

I blame it on working from home, where I work most often, and where there is no shoe requirement. I never wear shoes at home and in the summer, unless we’re going somewhere that requires otherwise, if I have to put on shoes it’s always flip flops.

Which is why it took me two months to notice that I left all my dress shoes in the hotel closet in Richmond, VA.

So today was an office day and I had no “legal” (per the dress code) shoes to throw on. (It should be noted that my summer dress shoes are as close as you can get to flip flops without actually being flip flops)

I am not the kind of person who would ever be the Shoe Police. The Shoe Police take it upon themselves to check everyone’s shoes for compliance, and report offenders to the appropriate manager.

I hated those complaints when I was a manager, but once someone complains, things have to be done. It’s true that one time one of my employees wore jeans on non-jeans days for three weeks straight and I didn’t notice until someone complained, but in my defense I was working a little too hard to spend time checking on everyone’s attire.

There is no worse Shoe Police than the person who’s been called out for an infraction. If they can’t wear flip flops then BY GOD NO ONE ELSE IS GETTING AWAY WITH IT!

I knew there was a Shoe Police in my meeting today. Word gets around, you know, even when you work mostly from home. I was wearing a very cute pair of bejeweled flip flops that matched my dress perfectly.

Oh, I had other shoes I could have worn. Those sandals that are a little too tight or the ones that rub my ankle a little wrong or heaven forbid, CLOSED TOE. All these options were legal but uncomfortable so instead I threw the least offensive pair into my backpack in case of emergency only, and wore the flip flops.

The Shoe Police was already in the room when I got there. I had to make a quick decision.

“SO,” I said loud enough for everyone, “it turns out I left all my shoes in VA so I’m wearing illegal shoes, but I’ll be happy to go home if anyone objects.”

And by golly, no one objected.

Final: Nic 1, Shoe Police 0

Game 2 tomorrow.